We think beer is great- but sometimes even we can have too much beer. But that prompts one key question. For the dedicated beer drinker, what on earth is a decent alternative drink?
We know, there's a world of drinks out there. But not to put to fine a point on it, a lot of them are not all that, well, manly. You can't honestly expect an adult male to stand in a bar nursing a spritzer, for goodness sake? And as for those luminous vodka drinks that look and taste just like pop, you can forget it.
Instead, here are some real alternatives to beer: drinks that taste good and you won't be ashamed to ask for at a crowded bar. In this case, a little knowledge goes a long way.
Whisky
From single malts to blends, there's a whisky out there to suit all tastes
It's not for everyone, but there's a world of choice out there when it comes to whisky. Not just Scotch either - these days, there's Welsh (from Penderyn), English (English Whisky Co) and even Japanese (Yamazaki). Enjoy it on the rocks (with ice) or a splash of water to taste, and either single malt or a good blend is fine. Of course, if you're worried about finishing off your measure while everyone else is still enjoying the same round, turn it into a longer drink by adding ginger ale or cola. Just avoid doing it with a rare 30-year-old single malt at $1,000 a measure, that's all.
Bourbon
American whiskey is an option if you don't mind people asking about the hog you've got parked outside. It's often an easier drink to enjoy than Scotch whisky, tasting sweeter with more vanilla flavours. Go for a Kentucky bourbon like Jim Beam or Maker's Mark, or a Tennessee whiskey like Jack Daniel's. If you're overly familiar with these, try their 'single-barrel' variants - same brands, new twist. If you like cold drinks, pour bourbon over a couple of large ice cubes - larger ones take longer to melt, which stops the ice diluting the drink (and all the flavour) in your glass.
Dry Martini
A Martini was the preferred choice of James Bond. If it's good enough for Bond, it's good enough for you, right? You can get away with a Dry Martini in sophisticated surroundings - the bar of a decent hotel, for instance, or in an exotic foreign location - because of the James Bond connotations. They make a refreshing change. Italians prefer them in the early evening before a meal, but you're not in Rome, so there's no need to play by their rules.
Cocktails
Cocktails can be very manly indeed, but there are rules. No straws. No crazy colours (stick with clear or brown for preference). No oh-so-amusing sex references in the name. Nothing too complicated. Minimal sugar (mojitos excepted). So what does that leave us with? The manly classics: a Bronx, a Boiler Maker, a Manhattan, a Kamikaze, an Old-Fashioned. Don't worry about what's in them - that's what the barman's for, after all.
Wine
Fuller-bodied red wines are a great choice with food, especially steak
Wine is a manly drink these days, but you have to match it correctly to food if you don't want the waiter to laugh at you behind your back. As a general rule, the old law that it's white wine with fish (and usually poultry) and red wine with meat is a decent place to start.
If you're drinking wine in a bar, go for red. Reds are more flavoursome, sophisticated and fuller bodied than whites (ballsy, in other words). Light, fruity whites are what the ladies in your party are probably drinking. If you're ordering a wine you've not had before, order it by the glass in a small measure - that way you can experiment without the commitment and move on to another if you don't like it.
Tequila
Ordering a tequila, either as a shot or in a margarita, marks you out as a fun loving kind of feller. Don't ruin it by asking for a tequila sunrise (which has orange juice in it - you know, the breakfast drink?), which will mark you out as a girl. For best results, opt for a white tequila (blanco), avoiding the cheap stuff, drink it neat with salt and lime in the traditional Mexican manner. Better still, the quality stuff is well worth enjoying as a cocktail base in place of vodka, or as a sipping drink enjoyed like a good Scotch whisky.
Gin/vodka and tonic
A classic gin and tonic is a great pairing of spirit and mixer. The main point to remember with manly drinking is that you shouldn't order drinks that are clearly trying to disguise the taste of the alcohol. If you don't enjoy the taste of alcohol, don't bother drinking it - you're only wasting your own cash. If you want a sweet drink, have an orange juice, but don't ruin two drinks in one go by throwing in a gin. Oh, and vodka with pineapple juice is a crime against both fruit and booze. If you want a longer drink, tonic is the best mixer for gin and vodka, the bitter aftertaste complementing the kick of the alcohol.
Champagne
You won't drink it down the pub, but on some occasions - weddings, New Year, office parties, that sort of thing - it's perfectly acceptable for a man to drink champagne. It's much overrated, of course, and has an annoying fizz that smacks of something a child would suck through a straw, but no man looks a gift horse in the mouth and the great thing about drinking champagne is that somebody else is usually paying.
Cider
We hesitate to recommend cider now that it's been reinvented as a trendy summer drink for urban sophisticates, but at least it puts a pint in your hand. Or a big bottle. A decent dry cider - preferably from a traditional cider producer - is the one to go for. Sweet cider is strictly for the ladies, so best avoided.
Water
A glass of tap water is good for you and kind on your wallet.
Of course, you might be eschewing beer for health reasons, because you're driving, or just fancy a night off the sauce. In which case, water is the unfussy, straight-talking, rehydrating, cheap-as-chips drink every man should aspire to. But not the fizzy bottled stuff that your girlfriend drinks when she's doing the driving. Ask for a pint of tap, the manliest soft drink of all (ginger beer - the proper stuff that hits you in the back of the throat, not weedy American ginger ale - comes a close second).
Always drink alcohol in moderation.
Information about alcohol-related health issues and Australian Government policy vist: http://www.alcohol.gov.au/
