Racks,
rears, rangas and shaggers — it's the awards ceremony that make us all want to do the Axle Whitehead.
Sportsman of the Year
And the winner is...
Usain Bolt
The
22-year-old Jamaican is the world’s fastest man over 100m and 200m, and even though he pretty much jogs the second half, he still breaks records. How shit must everyone else be?
Runners up
Mitchell Johnson
Yeah, he's got a hot missus but he's been in
scorching form lately. Most memorable was his spell of 5/2 against South Africa in Perth last year. Dennis Lillee was right to call him "a once in a lifetime prospect".
TV Moment of the Year
And the winner is...
Underbelly’s beaut boobs
Sex, drugs, money and
boobs — it's all good. Except for Matt Newton's
arse. Put it away, mate.
Runners up
Ladette To Lady's loose bladder
The only thing that could cleanse our eyes of Newton's moon was the sight of a boisterous Aussie babe
pissing on the side of the road. Class.
Political Moment of the Year
And the winner is...
NSW Police Minister Resigns
Matt Brown held the gig just three days when he was busted
dancing in his
underwear in his office.
Runners up
Obama gets big gig
Barack made Seppo politicial history by becoming the first African-American to win the presidency. His victory proved that people will do whatever Oprah tells them to.
RALPH Breast and Fairest Award
And the winner is...
Rachael Neiberding
Some people prefer quality over quantity. Stuff them.
RALPH discovery
Rachael and her 30HH natural wonders allow you to have it all. And then some.
Runners up
Gemma Atkinson
In our July '08 issue, the popular Pom said her favourite
body part was her "muscular
legs". Let's just agree to disagree, Gem.
