Even in the front row of La Iglesia Maradoniana (The Church of Maradona), the fans are screaming so loudly I can’t hear the priest. The ceremony commences and the faithful recite their version of The Lord’s Prayer…
Our Diego
Who is on Earth
Hallowed be thy left foot
Thy magic come
Thy goals be remembered
The lights dim. Six men in white tunics walk the aisle. Each has Diego’s number 10 on his back. Behind the alter is a huge portrait of “God” – Diego Armando Maradona.
The man behind me wears a T-shirt with the words “The Pope is German, but God is Argentine.” The room is hot, sweaty and smells like beer, probably ‘cos everyone has a tinnie in hand. The crowd – 600 of us – gather around a stage paying tribute to the glorious goals and spectacular crashes of Diego.
A man with “DIEGO” tattooed up his right arm cries and hugs his three-year-old son, who stares bug-eyed at a 2m-high wooden church at the centre of the stage. Inside stands a statue of The Man himself, his head held high, his hand on his heart. With an Argentine football shirt on his chest and a foot planted ceremoniously atop a football, the famous number 10 looks invincible.
As the cheering subsides, the priest signals to me. “And now your baptism.” I walk up to the stage and take off my shirt. The crowd screams as I slip on the number 10 jersey and recap on my rehearsals. Just one shot. Do it right, I tell myself. The baptism ceremony recreates the “sacred” moment when “Maradona” scored his famous Mano de Dios (Hand of God) goal by swatting the ball into the English net with his fist at the 1986 World Cup. Replays clearly show him punching the ball away from the English goalie, the startled, then pissed off, Peter Shilton. Afterwards, Maradona would never say his hand had touched the ball. “The hand of God sent it into the net,” he said.
Would you join the Church of Maradona? Enter your comments below.
