We’ve got your tightarse Tuesdays sorted every week until 2010.
COMING SOON
Changeling
Who? Angelina Jolie, John Malkovich
What? A woman’s missing son is returned but she’s convinced it’s not actually him.
Why? You’re either heaps interested in Oscar-worthy flicks (we’re guessing not) or you’re trying to impress an arty uni chick. Get her a choc-top to seal the deal.
When? February
HOTTIES
Fired Up
Who? Bulk babes
What? Two popular dudes go to cheerleader camp.
Why? Every bloke with a working dick should be fired up for a sex comedy with cheerleaders.
When? May
COMING LATER
2012
Who? John Cusack, Amanda Peet
What? Based on the prediction that the world’s f–ked in 2012.
Why? Special effects should have you more slack-jawed than a sex doll. Punters who follow the Mayan calendar should steer clear, but.
When? July
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
Who? Shia LeBouf, Megan Fox
What? Sequel to that shit flick you paid money to see just ’cos Megan Fox was in it.
Why? Two reasons: 1) Megan Fox (still worth it) and 2) Aussie babe Isabel Lucas. Two for the price of one.
When? June
Star testimonial
Megababe Megan Fox – phwoar that meets the eye
When asked about this sequel to the 2007 hit, Megan said, “As big as the first movie was, this is 10 times as big, 10 times as many set pieces, explosions, and acrobatic stunts.” We hope she’s referring to sex scenes. As for Megan’s acting, director Michael Bay was a great help. “His main note to me is just to look hot; so I try my best,” she said.
LAUGHS
Bruno
Who? Sacha Baron Cohen
What? Like Borat, but with a gay Austrian fashionista instead.
Why? Borat was a mad, inappropriate cack. This promises to push the boundaries even further. Awesome.
When? May
ACTION PACKED
GI JOE: Rise of Cobra
Who? Channing Tatum, Sienna Miller
What? The origins of the GI JOE squad.
Why? Sure beats watching the cartoon. Also, Sienna Miller as a bad girl in leather will make your cobra rise.
When? August
Star testimonial
Sexy Sienna Miller unleashes her guns
In this explosive flick, Sienna plays gun-toting bad girl The Baroness. Of her weapons training, she said, “I've never held a gun and training and learning to fight was a whole new experience. I had my MP7 rifle, and my two guns and it was great. Great gun-girl fights. A lot of it was dress-up and, for me, it's about being able to play and getting paid for it.”
Even if it is an all action flick, why do you think some guys hate going to the movies alone? Enter your comments below
