The “guaranteed to get you laid” date
Where to go: A hotel. Not the first Ibis you see. It has to be stylish and you need a reason for going so it doesn’t look like you’re just trying to get her in the sack. She will, of course, know this is precisely what you’re up to, which makes this the easiest date of all. But you still need a reason. Anything long distance will do — a concert, sporting event, wedding. And always offer to organise a spare bed for the room, if it makes her “feel more comfortable”. She might just want to see that you’re actually willing to sleep in it before deciding you deserve to get lucky.
What to wear: Override your male instinct to travel in whatever you’re wearing to the event, sleep in boxers and wear the same gear the following day.
What to talk about: If you admit feeling nervous about asking her (even if you didn’t) it’ll let her know you’re not Mr Suave who pulls the “hotel date” with every girl.
What not to do: Get too drunk. You could literally impress the pants off her if you keep a level head.
Random advice: If there’s no sex, it doesn’t mean she doesn’t like you. It probably means she
really likes you and wants to wait. But it could also mean she found you annoying after three hours together – you’re on your own there, sorry.
It’s gonna cost you: Depends on the hotel, but between about $150 and $500.
RALPH’s rating: 71 per cent chance of premature ejaculation (if you’re like us).
Expert pulling tips
How To Get The Woman You Want author Katia Loisel-Furey gives us some much-needed advice
Dress the part
How a bloke dresses is the number one thing women look for first. Guys dress up when they go out to bars or clubs but when they’re walking around their neighbourhood they look like fifth-grade rugby league coaches. Dress for the woman you want.
Where to go
Live music’s a good option. You can go on your own and not look like a loser and you can make an open comment like “Cool gig” that doesn’t actually require a response. So if the girl replies, great, but you don’t feel like a dickhead if she doesn’t.
Drama-free date: guaranteed
Dodge dating mines on the battlefield of love
The problem: You’ve got no clean undies.
The solution: It’s tempting to go inside—out with your crusties, but freeballing is the sensible choice on a first-date. It will make you feel daring and dangerous. Just take care not to get your cock caught as you zip up your pants.
The problem: She’s going for dessert and you’ve already blown a week’s wages on dinner.
The solution: This lady is clearly out of your financial bracket. Go to the dunny, climb out the window and make sure she never sees you again. And make sure you pocket some cutlery and salt shakers first.
What is your secret to ending up with the girl on a date? Have your say and enter your comments below.
