The 37 things women hate about us in the bedroom

Friday, July 9, 2010

RALPH spunk Ella Fox explains how to sort out our crap in the sack.

Your oversleeping
We're hungry and horny and if you'd just wake up, we'd bonk your brains out. Then do it again in the shower. Wake up!

Your rhythm
We know you can keep a mean rock beat, but could you maybe turn down the bpm when you’re bumping and grinding? Seriously, if we wanted to shag the Duracell bunny, we would.
It's spelt c-l-i-t-o-r-i-s
We know you guys know what it is, but we’re still not convinced you know what to do with it. Think about it this way – it's all about the clitoris. Ignoring it is like us ignoring your penis. And we don’t want to do that.

Too hard, too fast
The clit is not an Xbox controller and you're not aiming for a TKO on Don King Presents: Prizefighter. Say this 10 times – slowly and softly. Now put those words into action. Please.

Too drunk
When you diddle around, unable to get it up, vomit in our underwear drawer and pass out, then piss the bed – that isn't really our idea of a good night. Though it can be OK if the roles are reversed.

Your concept of foreplay
This is a shitty word to begin with because it makes people think foreplay is the stuff that happens before (fore) the fun stuff (play). Most of us girls don’t climax from penetration alone – for many, foreplay is the fun stuff. Mix it up!

User comments

Well, as a self-professed liberated woman (somewhat the way your author sounds) I have to disagree a little, with 32 at least... Unauthorised back door entry isn't always a bad thing- I'm never the first girl to jump up and say "Pound My ***', but you know what? I actually do like it... The guy taking the initiative and having a play or trying to 'slip it in' usually gives me the courage (and desire) to go with it...

i would have to disagree with this cause not all men are like that (unless u picked up your guy from the bar) If you want a good time in the bedroom no one can read your mind so speak up and tell them what u want or show them if they still don't get it!

nice one =)

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