More bar humour One line wonders Pick up lines

Classic one liners

• Two peanuts walk into a bar and one was a salted.

• A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

• An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

• Deja moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

• I went to buy some camouflage pants the other day, but couldn't find any.

• I walked into a seafood disco last week ... and pulled a mussel.

• What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

• Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

• Why did the blonde get on the roof of the bar? She heard drinks were on the house.

• A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm, and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

• "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.’" "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" "Well, "Its Not Unusual."