A young Chinese couple gets married. She's a virgin. Truth be told, he is a virgin too, but she doesn't know that.
A man walks into a bar has a few drinks and asks what his tab was. The bartender replies that it is $20 plus tip.
One day there were two hunters out in the woods hunting. Their names were Bob
and Jim. Jim accidentally shoots Bob. Panicking, Jim uses his mobile phone to call
000.
This bartender is in a bar, when this really hot chick walks up and says in a sexy seductive voice, "May I please speak to your manager?"
Three men were flying on a plane over the jungle when it crashed. They were the only people who survived. They decided that starting the next morning one of them would go out and make weapons and see if he could kill anything.
Jake was on his deathbed. His wife Susan, was maintaining a vigil by his side. She held his fragile hand, tears ran down her face.
Dave returned from a doctor's visit one day and told his wife Doreen
that the doctor said he only had 24 hours to live.
A Sky News photographer quickly used his mobile phone to call the local airport to
charter a flight. He was told a twin engine plane would be waiting for him at the airport.
A Chinese man had three daughters, he asked his eldest daughter
what kind of man she would like to marry.
Jane is getting to know Tarzan a bit better and asks him about his sexual history.
The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind this very tavern, where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you."<
A duck walks into a bar and asks: "Got any bread?"
A man had an appointment with a urologist. In the examining room, he told the doctor, "Don't laugh."
A man dressed in painters' overalls walks into a hardware shop and asks for a bottle of methylated spirits. The owner of the shop eyes him suspiciously.
Little Johnny is passing his parents bedroom in the middle of the night in search of a glass of water.
A drunk staggers into a bar demanding a beer. The bartender informed him that he was not allowed to serve alcohol to drunken patrons.
A man was leaving a cafe with his morning coffee when he noticed a most
unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.
Four workers were discussing how smart their dogs were. The first was an engineer who said his dog could do maths calculations.
A nun goes to her mother superior and confesses, "I've used some really foul language this week and I feel terrible about it."
A man wakes up one morning to find a gorilla on his roof.
