Organise a beaut bash for your mate and earn the title of best man.
Party 1
The “Budget” Bucks
Sure, times are tough and the buck blew all his bucks on an engagement ring the size of a stripper's boob, but you can still have a blast on a tight budget.
The wheels: Sorry, but you're stuck with taxis and public transport, unless you can convince a mate or two to stay off the piss and behind the wheel.
The schedule: Kick off with beers and a barbie at home to get a cheap start before heading out to the races. From there it can go either way – a few canny bets and you’re laughing. If Lady Luck hates your guts, you’re walking home.
The damage: Depending on your luck, you'll end up no worse off than a normal night on the town. Pass the hat around and chuck in $20 each, so the busted-flat buck can punt for free.
The highlight: Law of averages says the more blokes in the party, the more chance of a big win, so with a large crew you're (possibly) a shoo-in for a trifecta. Then it's strippers and top-shelf scotch all night.
Possible fallout: The groom loses the shirt off his back, and not in some hilarious prank, but because he has a serious gambling problem.
Party 2
The "Marathon” Bucks
Stretch the big night to a long-weekend of madness and mateship by heading up the coast for a marathon man-cation.
The wheels: Hire a minibus, fit it out with a couple of eskies chockers with beer, and play poker to find the loser who has to drive you out of town.
The schedule: Between drinking heavily and waking up hungover, you’ll probably only actually find the time to wedge in one game of golf or a few hours on a fishing charter, though you can do both if you’re happy to vomit on the course and in the boat.
The damage: You can hire a minibus for three days for about $450. If can even double as accommodation.
The highlight: Three days running amok in a town far from home where nobody knows you is an extended highlights reel.
Possible fallout: Local blokes take exception to strangers rolling into town and cracking onto their women. Expect at least one of your crew to get his head punched in.
Ripper strippers
She's Miss Centrefold Oceania, but Trinity saves her best for sexy mate Taylor.
What's it like to perform for a bucks night?
Compared to stage shows, bucks parties are a little more rough and rugged. Everyone’s really rowdy and the buck’s pretty messy, but they’re a lot of fun.
Do the blokes appreciate the work that goes into your act?
Yeah, they do. A lot of guys are like, "You're so flexible." They can see the work that goes into it.
What’s the most popular show?
Double shows are the go. Taylor and me – 90 per cent of our shows are double. Who doesn’t want to see two girls getting it on?
Have you performed at some ritzy joints?
Yeah, everywhere from multi-million dollar homes and big fancy boats to normal backyards. I prefer your typical crowd who are pumped to get among it. At the posh places, you’re scared to get a bit of cream on the carpet.
What’s some advice for a best man?
Have bucks parties as early as possible. The later they get, the messier they get.
What's the best thing about your work?
Seeing the excitement on their faces, and knowing whether they get divorced or stay with their missus, they’ll always think about me.
What's your best ever bucks party? Enter your comments below.
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