What do you do when you’re not posing for RALPH?
I work in the pharmaceutical industry. It’s not very exciting. I’m not a chemist or anything. I’m just in the middle of working out what I want to do. I was going to be a vet, then a police officer, then a primary school teacher. At the moment I want to go to a third world country and live in a tent and raise elephants or something.
Impressive. What do you drink on a night out?
Anything with vodka in it. My most exciting night was on chilli schnapps, but I’ll never go there again. It’s not burning hot but it just tastes revolting.
One shot and never again?
Oh no, I was doing quite a few shots of it (laughs).
Tell us about your wildest night out?
Probably the party I went to at a bikie club. It was just bizarre. They had little huts out the back and semitrailers, and there were bikies everywhere. It was just really weird. They had strippers and these huge naked ice sculptures that you could drink out of.
Has man evolved or is he the same as when he was created?
He’s evolved but I [also] think he’s headed back the way he was, a bit ape-like. It went all gentlemanly and metrosexual a couple of years back but now it’s gone back to blokes being blokes.
You think we should use more moisturiser?
Yeah, I love it when guys look after themselves.
What’s the worst pick-up line you’ve heard?
That angel one – heaven’s missing an angel but I think I found her, something like that. It’s so lame. Guys should just come up to a girl and maybe buy her a drink and ask for her name. If she’s interested, she’ll show that she’s interested later on. When a guy just stands there and starts telling you his life story and how beautiful you are, you just think, loser.
Would you break up with a guy if the sex was no good?
If you love each other that much, it should be good anyway, but if he’s crap, then there must be something wrong.
What’s the most sexually adventurous thing that you’ve done?
This brings me back to the biker night. I don’t really want to answer it and no, there’s no animals involved, trust me.
Speaking of which, what do you make of the turkey slap incident?
I didn’t even know what a turkey slap was. I’d never heard that term and then I thought the whole thing was a bit weird. If she didn’t have a problem with it, then I don’t see why everyone made such a big fuss. I mean, they were drunk and they were just mucking around. They’re only young.
Is there a God?
There is a God. There’s got to be more to it. I think it’s a bit naive to believe we’re the only ones here and there’s nothing else.
We're not alone in the universe, then?
I don't believe in UFOs or anything like that, but I don’t think we’re alone. We’re just a tiny little speck and there’s so much more out there.
Is there such a thing as a soul and what is it?
I think it’s your mind and your heart joined as one – your beliefs, your morals, your love and your thoughts.
What’s the meaning of life?
This is a trial. Everyone goes, “It’s not a rehearsal”, but I think you keep on getting reincarnated into all these different things and each one is different. It’s to be out there and as creative as possible, but then on the other hand... I don’t know, even the wealthiest people aren’t that happy. I can’t answer it.
Do rich people have a moral obligation to help the poor?
They should, but they definitely don’t. There’s so many rich people, and yet there’s so many poor people that need help but still don’t have it, so what’s going on?
Dunno. More importantly, do you eat kebabs?
I love a late night lamb sandwich. I have a beef kebab with lettuce, tomato, cheese and onion, tabouli, no hummus, all drenched in barbecue sauce.
We hear ya.
I had a great one in Kings Cross recently, but I think it’s because we were off our face that it tasted so good. You know when you’re so hungry that you bite in and it’s like, “Oh it’s so good.” You don’t even know what it is, it could be rat, cat or anything!
Chris Ryan
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