Bree Amer is the ex-Big Brother housemate who’s really going places on TV.

Are you enjoying Friday Night Games?
It’s been fantastic. I’ve had so much fun and had so many laughs. Working with Mike [Goldman] and Ryan [Fitzgerald] is like working with children and animals. They’re such a couple of characters, so it makes for a fun day at work.

What will your role on Big Brother be this year?
I’ll be doing Friday Night Live again. We’re tweaking it a bit by having it in front of a live audience every week, but for us it’s funnier compared with Friday Night Games because we can design the games and do a lot more to the housemates, like make them eat pig’s testicles, which we did last year.

Mike Goldman... nutjob. Discuss.
Totally. An absolute nutter, but one of the funniest people I’ve ever come across. He bends over backwards for me but some of the stuff that comes out of his mouth, honestly, I just stare at him sometimes and wonder where he’s pulling it from. He should be a stand-up comedian.

Be honest – can you remember the names of all the people who were in the house with you?
Yeah. Um... nah, I’d probably miss a couple. I can remember the idiots.

Who do you still see?
I still see Krystal a lot, and Katherine and Aphrodite. Wesley a little bit, and I speak to Ashalea a little bit on the phone. The majority I really do like, it’s just a matter of living in opposite ends of the country.

And who do you never want to see again?
There’s only a couple of people I don’t speak to... on purpose. You put 14 different personalities in a house, you’re going to have a couple you don’t want to see again.

After the show, did you get weird fan requests, porno scripts, etc?
I had this guy who drove from Sydney to Dreamworld and turned up with a wedding ring, flowers and a nine-page letter. Then he proposed to me. It was hilarious but very cute. I also have this guy who calls himself The Mysterious Poet and sends me poetry once a week. I keep it all... all the funny ones, anyway.

Did you have any Hotdogs-like moments during the nightclub appearances BB housemates do after the show?
Oh, no! Hey, come on, I’m smarter than that. No Hotdogs moments.

Are you good at telling which guys are full of shit and which ones are genuine?
I do find it really difficult, especially now. I find the genuine and nice guys leave me alone. The ones who have some respect for me stand back while the idiots approach me, and when I don’t reciprocate, they get angry. I’ll never meet a guy in a nightclub. It’s the worst scene.

Do people think they can say anything to you because you’re a public person now?
Definitely. People say things which just gobsmack me. They’ll come up and go, “Oh, your hair looks terrible tonight, it’s so much better curly than straight,” or someone will go, “Gee, you’ve put on a bit of weight,” or, “Gee, you’ve lost some weight, haven’t you?” Or people go, “Oh, man, you look like shit, are you hung-over?”

You’re a fan of body piercing and tatts, aren’t you?
Actually, I don’t have any anymore – just my ears and my belly. I’ve taken my lip one out. And I’ve just got the one tatt, I wouldn’t get another. I don’t like lots of tattoos on girls. I love tatts on guys. I like the shoulder and sleeve tattoos – the tribal-looking ones are very sexy.

What’s the next big trend in body modification, then?
How about we go back to being normal? Whoa! There’s an idea.

You love seafood. Tell us the truth, is it an aphrodisiac?
I don’t know. I’m single. I’m always single. I think oysters are, but as for the rest of it, no. I think there’s a 24-hour delay on the oysters, though.

What advice would you give to incoming Big Brother housemates?
Don’t dwell on the small stuff. Have a really good time and don’t bitch and moan, because it really is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. I loved every second of it and people who complain about it, I just don’t understand. Enjoy the lifestyle for a few months... and go in RALPH magazine!

What do you like about modelling for RALPH?
The pics are going to be great to show my grandkids when I’m old and I say, “Look, kids! Granny’s boobs used to sit on her chest!”

What would you say if you walked into a 16-year-old boy’s bedroom and your photo was on the wall?
I’ve been into a friend’s toilet and it’s been on the toilet floor – that creeped me out a little bit. I don’t want to be someone’s poo reading! I’ve had kids come up with the magazine to sign and it’s just funny. I love it.

Michael Pickering
From the RALPH archives, June 2006

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